chronic_whore

wow i havent been on here in such a long time. i went all "healthy eating" and i stopped exercising because i was so tired from work. i paying the price, and now i realized eating whatever, whenever, and not exercising is NOT an option. i feel disgusted with myself. ive made some progress, but still. i weighed the most i have ever weighed in my life and i HATE THAT. im going to start watching myself again. i havent started counting calories again yet. for now its just  eating less, and more healthy stuff. trying to cut the junk food and LESS WHITE BREAD! my mom stopped buying wheat for awhile there and it drove me crazy. and im squeezing in exercises here adn there. work leaves my legs exhausted, but unfortunately i think  it mostly just works by calves. so i have these fucking huge calve muscles but my thighs are disgusting. i do about  50-70 crunches a day. im surprised at how easy the are. im going to start doing a hundred soon. im going to find some good leg exercises and try to run more. wish me luck!

my sister just got rid of some of her clothes. i was looking through them. i pulled out a pair of pants size 6. they fit! and loosely too. then i found i pair of jean shorts size 5 that use to be mine. i had grown to fat to fit in them. but i just tried them on anyways. the fit! and not liek i was squeezing myself into them. they are almost baggy! (yes i know that over time and washing clothes grow baggier. but come on. i need a little happiness) 

i just had the worst cramps ive had in a while. it was so bad my mom had to give me some of my grandmother's pain medicine (the heavy duty stuff the doctor gave her wehn she broke her hip) and even that didnt kill all the pain. im just glad its over. im going to plead my mom to take me to the doctor. i cant deal with this especially since im going to working and going to school.